WITH THE SOUND OF FLIP-FLOPS AND BOOT STEPS…
…hundreds of them. Or as we say in Glesga (that’s Glasgow, Scotland to the uninitiated), hunners ‘n’ hunners.
Allow me the pleasure of painting a picture. It’s dreich, i.e. wet, miserable and low, grey cloud usually in the west of this beloved land of Scots. The air is damp and as the prevailing weather from the Atlantic strides in with gallus gait its pressure is condensed by the hills, Grahams, Corbetts and Munros of the west coast. This constant murky marauder gleefully dumps the resulting and eager precipitation upon our suspecting heads. A lot.
On the odd occasion the rain stops, the clouds clear and a strange but welcome light wraps us in a cloak of mystical warmth. Some years it’s a Saturday others it’s a Tuesday. The rhyme and reason of this pattern is unclear to even the most educated and experienced meteorological mind. But when it happens, strange things begin to appear on the slopes of the southern highlands. Homo sapiens. In droves, herds and flocks. All in an array of attire unseen on any other topographical arrangement, possibly with the exception of Mount Tamalpais given its proximity to the north of San Francisco.
The sights can be comical. All designer trainers, trendy shades, flip-flops and eyelashes. Included in the cacophony of genres are the seasoned ramblers and walkers resplendent in state of the art boots, packs and walking poles and trust me, everything in between. This spread is not the surprise as there are always those who are responsible and sensible and likewise there will always be the idiots who adorn the hills with unfettered abandon and disrespect. Nay, it was the sheer unsuspecting volume of worshippers to this steep sided and but mild mannered kirk.
Conic Hill is a wonderful excursion. It is close to the city of Glasgow, half way up there is a shoulder which offers respite to the untrained and over zealous, magical vistas over Loch Lomond and the western hills looking across the to the peaks of Arran and Goat Fell, has a wonderful little watering hole in the shape of the Oak Tree Inn at its foot and what is usually ample parking. However on this day, the sun was out, the boys had their guns out, the lassies their shorts and wedges and the cars flooded the car-park spilling down the double yellow lines of Balmaha in blatant disrespect of other road users, residents and walkers.
So what to do about this absurd looking multitude of fair-weather, good-time and time-served nature seekers? Control numbers and restrict entry to the hills? Would it work? If so how? Discourage them with a PR campaign depicting the scurge of a fog of a squillion midges per square inch all across the southern hills? Avon would make a fortune! Nae say I! Let them come. Let them invite more friends and family because with every boot step, footstep and flip-flop flap we save a shilling or three at the doors of the NHS.
This hillwalking malarky is amazingly good for increasing heart and lung function. Leg strength and thus balance and proprioception. Fresh air fills the lungs despite the annoying whir of camera clad drones taking selfies at 300m sparking deafening barks from highly agitated canines and expert walkers. The throng of sometimes idiotic behaviour is a delight to see as everyone there is out getting some much needed exercise and fresh air. I for one couldn’t be happier as it seems that a growing part of the population understands that health and wellbeing doesn’t start with lo-fat yoghurt…don’t get me started on the falsehoods of low-fat!
If local, national or central government are encouraging more activity, given the destructive ravages of inactivity on the human being they should be doing a whole lot more but I salute this and encourage more. Whilst we all like a little peace and quite in our sojourns amid the hills, it is, as a health and fitness professional, refreshing to see our hills and parks bursting with life as soon as we glimpse the merest morsel of sunlight. The benefits far outweigh the costs so long as a little respect is held for the pathway and potential risks. The local economies burst into much needed life as who doesn’t like a cool beverage, spot of scran and some ice-cream after a day’s exertions?
Let’s have more well clothed feet on rocky ground. After all we each benefit in some small yet consequential way. To the hills I say!